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Because it is Pinktober …

Please stop sexualizing my cancer.

I have to say it. I am sick of seeing it.
I understand everyone means well, with their advocacy of breast cancer awareness. We all know someone who has survived or died of this disease, so I understand we are trying to advocate with sincerity and respect. But this “save the tata’s”, “save the boobies” stuff …. come on. ūüėí
If you want to represent us surviving this disease, which I believe you are meaning to do, please do so in respectful terms, don’t throw our loss in our face.¬†
Breast cancer has a lot of support behind it because ….
1. It affects a lot of people.
But …
2. Sex sells.
It’s a chance for everyone to talk about boobies, everything sold is wrapped and dripped in pink during October because it has become socially acceptable to joke about breasts this time of year. Other cancers don’t get the hype that breast cancer does. Why? Because colons, pancreas, brains, livers, and lungs … those things are not sexy!¬†
If you want to truly advocate for breast cancer awareness. Be aware that the 1 in 8 women that have had breast cancer, have had lumpectomies and mastectomies. Our tata’s have not been saved. Our tata’s are gone. We have scars across our chests. We have lost a part of us that represents womanhood, motherhood… and it is a kick in the stomach every time someone says “save the boobies”. I would like people to advocate for saving the WOMAN, and MEN (because they get breast cancer, too).
Also, know that getting reconstruction is NOT an opportunity for a new boob job, go ahead and look into the hell that entails.
I was stage 1, I have a great prognosis, but still an 11% chance of dying. I only had a 12% chance of getting this cancer in the first place, so an 11% chance of dying are statistics that feel scary to me. My specific cancer is known to come back in 11-12 years. I am not “cured”. I am in active cancer treatment for the next 5-10 years. I am a cancer patient. We survivors the moment we are diagnosed and we have to live in the fear. The fear, that lasts the rest of our lives; every ache and pain send us survivors into a full-blown panic attack.
Triple negative breast cancer currently is the most aggressive, those women don’t have the option to go on hormonal chemotherapy like I do. They get regular chemo thrown at it, and hope for the best.
It is said that 30% of early stage breast cancer will go on to metastasize, that means terminal. A lot of young women are diagnosed at late stage because breast cancer is not on our radar. But, it should be!
Us women surviving this thing — we have a purpose, and people who need us. I don’t have anything but scars on my chest. I don’t care about you advocating to save any boobies. I care about you advocating to save these women; pushing for research of all cancers. These mothers, wives, co-workers, community members. Save the person, not the breasts. Let’s focus on what is important, and please, please … stop sexualizing my cancer.¬†

 

mastectomy Continue reading “Because it is Pinktober …”

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Waves of Injustice and Trauma

I¬†have been persuaded by those around me that I should write a book.¬† However, I am not a writer.¬† The only passion¬†of writing that I have owned¬†was creating picture book stories in elementary school.¬† I’ve briefly experimented with poetry, only to retract myself with anxiety of being vulnerable.¬† Writing is difficult for me. Being vulnerable is difficult for me.

waves

Life experiences kept hitting me like waves.¬† These storms that have hit me throughout my life have created trauma, injustice, and a learned hopelessness.¬† After the traumatic¬†event, you start evaluating the storm damage, and¬†whether or not¬†the storm¬†could have been predicted?¬†¬†That is when you come up for air, you see the beauty after the clouds drift away, you are still breathing … You can analyze all the pieces of your life that have created the perfect storm, and then you start thinking I need to warn others.

Waves of Injustice & Trauma

I am a rural social worker. I have worked in domestic violence, suicide, sexual assault, family preservation, child welfare, mental illness, childhood trauma, addictions, child sexual assault, and I have a lot of experience in toxic relationships.

In my own personal life I have survived a toxic parent, childhood poverty, sexual assault, an eating disorder, anxiety, workplace sexual harassment, depression, domestic violence, three attempted home invasions, two divorces, surviving as a single parent, a¬†miscarriage,¬†toxic relationships, a four-year ongoing¬†custody battle, P.T.S.D., and most recently … breast cancer.¬† Most of these negative experiences have made me a victim simply because I am a woman.

My hope is, that through this blog, I will create awareness and healing for other survivors of being woman.